Ten Cents Only

I am the greatest
or so I've been told
Come to me with your problems
I can fix anything
I'm like the Dali Lama
except you need not climb a mountain
I'm more easily accessable
and just as good
I understand
I can help
I want to
It's what I do
and I'm damn good at it

So lay all your cards out
I'll help you find your path
young and old
rich and poor
male and female

I'm your answer
your sanctuary
I'll make things better
and point you in the right direction
It seems as though I've been there
everywhere
and I'm only 24
just call me Deep Thought

The doctor is alway in
"How can I help you?"
no problem too big
no issue too insane
You'll leave feeling one hundred times better
guaranteed
no insurance needed

I must be from a different plain of existence
not easily broken
the will of a champion

I have all the right answers
turn to me when the chips are down
when you have no where else to go

But where do the invincible turn
when they realize they're just human?

How can I trust my concerns
to those I've helped out of the dumbest jams?
to those who would have fallen apart without me?
How can they fix me, when they can't fix themselves?
(cliche, I know)

And more importantly
how do I even being to ask for help?

The words don't exist
even if they could get past my teeth
and roll off my tounge
I swear they would be in Aramaic

No one would even understand
shrugging their shoulders
letting out a laugh
"You need help? Good one"

I am the strong
the level headed
I know who I am
and what I want
I don't need help

You think it's easy being me?
Try it for a day
It'd be like Scanners
I know it.

Just give me a minute
to regain my composure
I'll suck up my problems
to make way for yours

It's what I do.